Conjectures of Sagging Values

Conjectures of Sagging Values

When I was in my early 20’s , I wondered how people can be so evil despite their age. I wondered how young people are a lot better than the adults despite their minimal life experiences. I wondered why their experiences in life had not been a stepping stone to shape their morality and values. They should know. Because they’re grown-ups.

But at this point, it is also the same nagging reason why they step to the dark side. They are grown-ups. I mean, we are grown-ups.

I don’t know when this started. I am not sure what triggered me to be what I am now. Maybe it happened five months ago when I met this guy or maybe, it happened when I was 8 years old, then it just builds up. It might have began from my boring dates and the heartaches, or the restrictions I had for the entire 25 years of existence. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend , and like other Filipino teenagers, I had a curfew. I was a bird kept in a cage. And when I was freed, I couldn’t stop.

I am naturally curious. I don’t follow rules because experience doesn’t thrive on following them. Fun is elusive if you become too rigid. Fun and a hella loads of experience create memories and drive your life. The problem is that I am also naturally emotional. I easily get attached . Instead of having fun, I invest my attention and time to whatever and whoever treats me special. This is branching out, sorry. So, let me divulge you my conjectures on how age sags our values:

1. The bad experiences are hardwired in our brain. Those have shaped us and there’s no escape but to be worse.

What’s the sense of being good if life is bad? Then when you thought that you’ve had enough, another problem has smacked you hard. It sucks to stay nice and virtuous. Tiring, even.

2. We are all naturally curious and temptations are lurking everywhere. We are preys of worldly desires- money, sex and fame, to name some.

3. It is easier to give in to the devil.

4. Being evil is a trend. Research says that in this digital world, evil is even better than a mediocre. Mediocres are a nobody, whereas evils are liked, followed and worshipped.  Since this is ‘in’,  the pressure to conform is powerful.

5. We are surrounded with bad people. Environmental hazards, fyi. LOL

6.  We lack self –control.

7. We don’t pray. We lost our faith and direction.

8. We believe that we cannot change.

9. Evil is more fascinating. Horror, suspense, thriller movies sell a lot. Goodness is restrictive and boring. The more you adhere to rules, the greater your innate evil is to expose itself.

I can go more and more. But when you’ve come to the point where you can rationalize bad deeds, that’s when you know you are losing your values. I think I am.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: A Book Review

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: A Book Review

Summary

This is a romance novel played by two executive assistants of a publishing company who hates each other but ends up kissing in an elevator and falling in love.

Lucinda or Lucy is the only daughter of strawberry farmers and her childhood dream is to be a publisher.  Joshua came from a family of doctors and his ex-girlfriend became the wife of his older brother. Joshua dropped out from med school after a year and took up business and his father never favored him, instead, focused on the eldest son, Patrick.

Joshua was described as perfection. Physically perfect but shy and timid when it comes to his father. Again, another story of man with personal issues. Lucy, on the other hand, does not have grave issues except for her retro fashion sense and a height of five feet.

Reaction

This is the debut novel of Sally Thorne. I am not impressed. The lines were not witty and there was minimal wordplay. It was light-hearted and cute and cool but not something that you can not put down.

I was not able to feel the intensity of their love and hatred, even. It’s really like a game, a childish game. It lives up to its title. Haha.

Ugly Love: A Book Review or Whatever

Ugly Love: A Book Review or Whatever

Summary

I’ve grown fond of Colleen eversince I read her book It Ends With Us but this time, I am slightly dismayed about the story of Miles and Tate in Ugly Love.

Miles cannot love anybody after losing his first born and first love, Rachel. Rachel left him after she blamed Miles for not saving their son first in an accident. Six years have passed but he has not recovered and won’t ever want to feel and see the ugly love. They first met when Tate was moving in his brother’s apartment. Her brother ( Corbin) and Miles are both pilots. They were very much attracted with each other until Miles confessed that he wants her in bed only. Tate agreed along with Miles’ two rules: Don’t ask about his past and don’t expect the future.

Most of the scenes then were purely sexual. These were incredibly detailed and arousing but when there are too much of these, the reader will get bored. The story is really centered on their orgasms thus I couldn’t enter their world because I have not invested in either of the flat characters. The setting is in the two neighboring rooms and the dialogues were not funny nor witty.

Reaction

I would not enter a relationship which is purely based on sex. Engaging in sex out of wedlock is already a sin and to do it over and over again will only eat up my conscience and suck out my happiness.

There are those who do so. It’s because of the pleasure, need, thrill or love. Many would give up everything to satisfy their partner. Many have been destroyed because of the choices they made. Love is not meant to destroy people. Love should not be an excuse to stay with someone who is not capable of reciprocating it.

But of course, people just love too much. It’s dangerous. It’s ugly. People are .Not love.

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover: A Book Review

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hover: A Book Review

Aug. 9 2018

I am familiar with the author’s name since I see it in a lot of bookstores. But when I saw the IG post of Lovi Poe and I quote, “Colleen Hoover is probably the reason why my standards of men are high,” I was really intrigued so I searched her name and watched book reviews in youtube and the rest is pretty much history.

I picked It Ends With Us first because the male protagonist is a neurosurgeon and you know how much I am obsessed with those kinds of characters. Lol

Summary

Lily came from an abusive household. Her father who is the town mayor and real-estate holder hits and rapes her mother but never got the courage to leave him. When he died, her mother asked her to deliver a eulogy but during her speech, Lily was not able to express five great things about her father because there was none.  Lily flew back to Boston and found a rooftop to vent her anger and that’s where she met Ryle, a driven, captivating and utterly successful neurosurgeon.

They had an honest conversation which they termed NAKED Truths. It was revealed then that Ryle wants to fuck Lily (that was his term. Haha)  in which she strongly rejected. During their talk, she mentioned her past and that she had sex with a homeless during her teenage years. Ryle almost kissed Lily if not for the phone call from work. After six months, they saw each other again through Alyssa, wife of Marshall (the bestfriend of Ryle) in her would-be flower shop.

They eventually dated but then in a restaurant, Lily saw Atlas, her first love, the homeless guy who turned out to be the restaurant owner and best chef in Boston. Atlas knew about her situation before so when he saw the cut on Lily he confronted her then Ryle showed up.

The next chapters were Ryle’s temper and how this affected their relationship. Ryle’s temper couldn’t be controlled so  he ended up hurting Lily physically. They were married back then. Ryle apologized and promised not to hurt her again but he broke it again and again. Reason? Jealousy.

Atlas rescued her after Ryle headbutted her. They soon found out that Lily was pregnant.

I thought Ryle would change himself and Lily would accept him again but Lily wanted a divorce after she gave birth.

After a year, they were separated and Lily met Atlas again.

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Characterization

I was disappointed with Ryle. You know when you are rooting for someone because he was projected as the perfect guy in the beginning and in the middle, he was so broken and pitiful and in the end, he was  just a pretty and smart-ass guy. Nobody wants to end up with someone like him, right? With Ryle’s character, we need not to rely on the good lucks and accomplishments. And a relationship must not be rushed most especially marriage. Don’t be like Lily. Get to know the person first. It takes time but it will save you a lot from heartaches and abuse.

Colleen is an expert in characterization. Her characters are dynamic and impressively human.

Social Issues

This story also made light on domestic violence. That you will never know how it feels when you’re in that same exact situation.  It’s easy to say ‘leave him’ but the emotions that were invested and the people  that will be affected would be more important than all the beatings.

And for this, eventhough the church does not approve of it, I am pro-annulment.

Why stay in a fucked-up marriage? You can raise children by yourself.

About the issue of homelessness. It’s also easy for us to judge them. Easy to say that they are lazy and that they should grind their ass; however, we do not  know the whole story to begin with. If we only put more action in being kind and compassionate, the world would be much better to live in.

Style

Her plot twists are insane. I like how she repeats some of the lines for impact and how she connects all the events. She is a master storyteller. She has simple writing but it is evident, how universal and poignant the emotions are.

Favorite Lines

“I am going to make a promise to you, when my life is good enough for you to be a part of it, I’ll come find you. But I don’t want you to wait around for me, because that might never happen.”

“People come in like waves, trickling in and out with the tide. Some waves are much bigger and make more of an impact than others.  Sometimes, waves bring with them things from deep in the bottom of the sea and they leave those thing tossed onto the shore. Imprints against the grains of sand that prove the waves had once been there, long after the tide recedes.”

“You make me want to be a different person but what if I don’t know how to be what you need?  I want to prove to you  that I want you for so much more than just one night.”

“All humans make mistakes. What determines a person’s character aren’t the mistakes we make. It’s how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.”

“I’ll  keep pretending to swim, when really all I’m doing is floating. Barely keeping my head above water.”

A MAIFESTO ON HOW TO BE INTERESTING: A BOOK REVIEW

A MANIFESTO ON HOW TO BE INTERESTING: A BOOK REVIEW

How I Learned About It

I came across this book when I was researching books to read when depressed in google and I happen to glimpse this catchy title.

It was written by Holly Bourne and published year 2014.  It is set in Britain and belongs to young adult fiction.

About the Book

 It is a story of an unpopular girl in school named Bree who has a boy bestfriend named Holdo who’s also like her, a geek and their idea of fun is drinking wine, engaging in mental discourse. The plot began when Bree just received another rejection letter from a publishing company. Her first novel was rejected and the second had the same fate. Upon arriving in class, she told her teacher, Mr . Fellows about this and he advised about how the audience doesn’t want a novel that narrates a suicidal attempt in a pier and that companies are looking for something that is saleable and can make the audience relate more and escape from the world, at least for a while. This hurt her feelings but sparked an interest to change herself and experiment so that she can have a material for her writing.

She changed herself to write her next novel, the Manifesto. She changed her appearance with the help of her mum. She got the attention of the whole Queen’s Hall and also, the super popular Perfect Posse. They included her in their inner circle and later on, Hugo, the hottest guy in the school and the boyfriend of the leader of the girl group stole her virginity during his 18^th birthday. She also had an affair with her English teacher, Mr . Fellows (married) who later on, left her when her sex scandal with Hugo was released.  Of course, Bree was not aware of this and when she lost everything, she cut herself and got admitted in a psychiatric hospital. Eventhough the rules listed in the Manifesto cost her so many things, it did mend her relationship with her parents. Eventually, her blog became a hit (thanks to Holdo for informing her) and she fixed herself by going through therapies.

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Writing Style

This was a fast read – no foreplays and extra bullshit which is just perfect for the short-attention spanned audience. I like the flavor of classic literature and árts sprinkled on the pages.

Plot

The plot twists are expected but I really commend the writer for  igniting me to write again. Writing really takes a lot of time and mental energy but it’s something that is beautiful and worth struggling with. 

The characters are all static except for Bree. As a teenager, I totally get her but she was really a loser. You cannot lose your morals for the sake of saleable but shitty writing. There’s even far worse cases experienced by her age and beyond hers.

Lessons

I  was also unpopular in high school, part of nobodys because I was not beautiful , smart and wealthy enough like my classmates. I was also that weird writer like Bree and I did some experimentation but not to the point of compromising so much of my ethics. If you want to write, do not hurt other people. If you want to write, do not give yourself away.  If you want to write, think first of what you are doing with your life.  Writing was not invented to harm the writer not the reader. It is an ocean of pen and paper where we dive with new lessons to make us appreciate life more.  

Writing is sacred. Though many are using it for personal satisfaction, take precaution because once it gets published, it might cause other person’s life.

We are the Ants, a Book Review

BOOK REVIEW

Title: WE ARE THE ANTS

This book was published year 2016, written by Shaun David Hutchinson.

I learned about this book when I was watching Best Books for 2018 video. It was highly recommended by the vlogger and has positive feedbacks from the readers.  

Summary

It is about a depressed, low self-esteem, bullying victim high schooler who from time to time gets abducted by aliens and whose boyfriend hanged himself that he couldn’t recover from it and is self-blaming about what happened. If this was not enough, he has a dysfunctional family wherein his father abandoned them, his brother bullies him in school and at home, a grandmother suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and a mother addicted to booze. And then there is Marcus, the most popular boy in the whole town called Calypso who humiliates Henry in public but f***s him in private. Then enters Diego, a transferee who loves to read and paint and wears different styles everyday because he said he is searching for his real identity. It was revealed at the latter part of the novel that Diego had spent two years in juvenile detention center for breaking his father’s arm and fracturing his skull. But this was only to protect his battered mother who had somehow, still, defended his father. Henry and Diego became friends and later on, lovers.

Henry found reasons to save Earth and most importantly, to live.

Reaction: 

Bullying

                This was the first book I read with the member of the third sex as the narrator and protagonist. It was easy empathizing with the character because he is transparent and he is just like an ordinary person like us struggling with problems, except of course the aliens part. Henry does not only represent LGBT but the youth today who seem so hopeless about the future - so much for youth as the hope of the nation. Nowadays, mental disorder has become prevalent and even the youth are not exempted from this. But  Henry needed help from the hospital also with Diego and Marcus. Even the other bullies in school. It can also be noted here that bully victims don’t talk about themselves being bullied rather they’d keep it and repress their anger which can push them to commit suicide. School authorities are not keen in combating Bullying , they only took action when Henry was severely attacked in the showers and was almost raped by Marcus during the school fair. This also manifests how ignorant the school is and worse, keeps a blind eye of the safety and well-being of their students. When Jesse (boyfriend of Henry) took his life, it must have been a signal that there’s something wrong but they did not do anything.

Depression

                Almost all of the characters of the novel are depressed. After reading the book, I also felt the pang of depression. It was contagious and maybe, that makes it an effective book. But if your friend is suffering from depression, would you recommend him to read this book? Can this not aggravate his condition? According to Google, these kinds of books could help them. This will bring to light that there are others who are going through the same and some even have worse cases. These books could understand and comfort them. But take note, the lessons must be processed by the readers.

Writing Style    

                Two thumbs- up for the integration of science into literature.The language is fitting with the characters and the current society, vulgar to its core. The story is actually the extra-credit project of Henry to his science class. The first part is actually very catchy and you know what they say, go on reading if you found one.

                Some dialogues were cyclical especially with Henry’s self-blaming. It would be better and more realistic if the aliens were not part of the story. Anyways, it was not revealed if the aliens were real or not. It is up to the reader to decide. For me, Henry is schizophrenic that’s why he has a parallel universe.  

Favorite Quotes and Lines

Quote: Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are terrifying. – Arthur C. Clarke

About life

Life is bullshit. Life is absurd. We all live in an infinite world and everything in it will eventually repeat. There are infinite copies of you and despite everyone or every motivational video or self-help book is saying that you can make a difference, the truth is, you are not a special snowflake. (I agree but in order to survive, we must think that we are special in our own ways, no matter how small these may be.)

We remember the past, live in the present and write the future. ( Right! No one forgets the past because these teach us what to do in the present and future. The future is our project. We need to write it with beautiful memories. )

About Love and Science

Other times, I think that Gravity is love, which is why love’s only demand is that we fall. (The most striking line, right?)

When Diego kissed me, I forgot about every kiss that came before. His kisses were impatient but cautious. They tested on the edge of losing control and I imagined him panting with the same kind of frenzy – stripped to the waist and covered in smears of more colors than the human eye was capable of detecting. ( I love the love scenes because they’re so vivid. When you kiss someone you love, do you really forget all the ones that came before?)