AVALANCHE

AVALANCHE

The good memories, the beautiful moments

Spinning ‘round and fast but slowed down when you held my hand

You ignited a fiber in me; I wanted to dispense my soul TO YOU.

You were all goofy and chatty yet your blue eyes seemed to cry.

Can I save or fix you? Will you let me make you smile?

I reached out to you.

There’s hope.

We made our home within you.

But then our home started shaking off

With your words “Move on, I’ll hurt you more.”

I crashed into the sea, drowning in waves of emptiness and agony.

I wanted to love you through your peace and anxiety

I wanted to stay through your pain and healing

I wanted to see and kiss your ugliest parts

I wanted to hold you tight even if it tears me inside

Because I believe there’s a beautiful universe living in your mind.

Like the Big Bang, our worlds collided twice

I missed the warmth of your skin, your hype singing

Piggyback rides, kisses under the moonlit sky

Your chest rising and falling, your head between mine

Hugs from behind, scooting closer to your arms

Tangle of white sheets, I listened to your heartbeat

I wished we could stay like that for a lifetime…

But in the stillness of the night, you still chose to leave.

You knew I love you but your broke me anyway

You knew I care for you but your fears washed them away

I knew you were struggling but I highly hoped it would past

I knew you loved me but your panic and anxiety dragged you back.

I never got tired and I hated you for giving up

Was I not enough?

Did you try hard to let go of what’s holding you back?

Did you honestly try hard FOR THE BOTH OF US?

  

 I wanted to hate you more but I cannot find any more reason to...

I can feel that you’re hurting more than I do.

I am sorry for asking you more of what you are afraid to give

I am sorry for everything I caused that made you feel at risk.

Our love is one great avalanche - -sudden, overwhelming

Dangerous, rapid, forceful, falling, descending

But know that it has been a beautiful sweep

Listen, you are loved and please, DO believe in it.

Baby, you don’t have to worry, I finally found the courage to set you free

Let us embrace our solitude; we’ll search for joy and tranquility separately.

You will grow in your own term and pace; your head will be out of the snow

I am filling-in my heart with self-love, the world is waiting and waving hello

True love never quits but it’s truer when you know how to stop

Though I left a flicker in my heart

In case you ever wanted to come back HOME

My Beautiful Avalanche.