Showing posts with label blogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogs. Show all posts

Friday, 10 January 2020





Catcher in the Rye: A Book Review



About the Author
J.D. Salinger or Jerome David Salinger is an American author known for his novel, a classic literature, The Catcher in the Rye. He is considered a literary hermit due to being a recluse after the publication of the said novel in 1951. It is said that this novel is “almost autobiographical.”


Summary
The story began right before Christmas Vacation at Pencey Prep School in Pennsylvania, where Holden Caulfield, 16-year old was kicked out from school for failing all his classes except English. He was kicked out from other schools, too before Pencey.



He left school before he was dismissed and traveled to New York City, his hometown. However, he did not go directly home but spent time and money with a bunch of different people, including those he does not really like. He became more depressed so later on, he sneaked into their house to see his 10-year old sister, Phoebe.
Holden decided to move out from the country and find a job. He asked his sister to meet him to bid his last goodbye and while he was watching her riding on the carousel, he declared that he was happy and wouldn’t pursue his plan.



That was the end of his narration and back to the Holden a year later where it is suggested that he is telling the story from a hospital because he is “sick” in some way.



Review
Characterization
Holden uses profanity and insulting words, he smokes and lies about his age to drink liquor. He breaks rules in the dorm and spends most of his time criticizing people. He always has a negative say to something except for his dead brother, Allie, his older brother JB, and his 10-year old sister, Phoebe. He sees the world as full of phonies but he is also one of them. He wants to explore and  even paid a prostitute , but is afraid to lose his innocence.



For his age , he thinks a lot. He is smart but he does not know what he wants from life. When Phoebe asked to name one thing he likes, he answered Allie. But Allie was already part of the past, and based on this, we can see that a huge part of him is still grieving for Allie’s early death.

He represents people who are lonely and alone. He represents people that are falling apart, where healing is far-fetched. He represents all those who cannot find their purpose in life, and accomplish this by wandering and wasting time. He represents a soul desperately seeking attention to understand him and walk him through life. He wants to save children from falling from a cliff of rye (that’s why the book is titled Catcher in the Rye) but he cannot save his ownself. He, too could not save Allie. His weird hunting hat represents how different he is from others, and his question of where the ducks go when the lake freezes correlates with his lost of life of direction. 



Plot
If you are into fast-paced, action-packed genre, this would not be your thing. There were no climactic feel, nor page-turning twists. It was told in first person point of view using stream of consciousness. It seemed like a rant, a teenage angst! Honestly, it took me 2 days to finish reading it because it was repetitive and dull. A classic is a classic, that’s true, but the book did not exceed my expectations. 



The only thing I liked is the characterization of Holden. It will either make you hate him for his inappropriate behavior or sympathize with him. This is not a novel, it’s more of a character study. 



Literary Techniques
Symbolism is evident in the novel: hat, baseball glove, ducks, liquor, cigarette, carousel, phonograph, rain. Dialogues were average. I like how other authors and literary pieces were mentioned. This book is relatively short (26 chapters) and an easy read; however, it is not recommended for young readers due to its high profanity.



Recommendation
I rate it 2 out of 5 stars. If you’re looking for a classic, I won’t recommend this. I know when a book makes a huge impact; unfortunately, it failed to deliver.

Tuesday, 31 December 2019

Untangle the Tangles this 2020


This year was all tangled because I started it by filling–in broken (non-refillable) vessels.  It lasted for three more months, but then we decided to  part ways, for real. In the process of moving on, gym became my sanctuary.  I got pretty addicted with working out, and I also started eating healthy. I was getting better, physically and mentally speaking, and I was more focused with the world around me. 

Then, I met someone nice and caring, we dated but turned out, he was my rebound, and to be fair, he had other pressing priorities; I was not on the  list. But it was okay, I was productive at work and even received many certificates of recognition during our year-end program. 

I and my ex met once again. I told myself that maybe, we could start over but after a week, he told me he likes someone else. Afterwards came swirling, engulfing tidal waves of self-loathing and insecurity attacks. Insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks, and headaches became a part of my routine.  Few days later, I almost hit my head on the toilet bowl because of drinking hard. 

It was tough but I managed to crawl towards the light. Gratefully, I was able to continue my workout and through teaching and the kids in school, I was pretty happier, and felt valued. I cut my hair, created a youtube channel, read more books, created goodreads account, wrote more blogs and book reviews, studied and finished my TEFL course, attended Liveloud Concert, visited lots of schools, museums and tourist spots, and most importantly, completed the 9-day simbang gabi with my gym buddies. 

Now, I could say that I am in a better place. I admit I am a handful, bit lunatic (and impulsive) at times, but if I am not this persona, I would not learn at all. I’ve grown a lot for the past 12 months especially when it comes to knowing what I deserve or not. I know how to distinguish the good from the bad, the toxic from the healthy, the permanent from the temporary. I know how to say no and later, who cares and whatever. I know how to say fudge, I messed up but it's not the end of the freaking world. I learned to accept that there are people who must leave in order for you to live. I learned that no matter how broken you are, you are yourself, you made this, you chose this, and you are going to embrace it. At the end of the day, you are the one to decide who you're gonna be. 

2019 was tangled, all right. However, these tangles will only be tangles if you let them trap you forever. I understand, it's a pressure to see others getting engaged, married, giving birth, traveling,  --- these are what we see all over social media, anyways -- but I believe, we all have our unique timelines. Yours is still brewing. And my dear, I can't wait for your turn! I am confident that tomorrow, we will smell the sweet aroma of your success. 



Friday, 2 August 2019

This is the last time I am going to write about love.








This is the last time I am going to write about love.


Love always fascinated me at a young age. I would always visualize myself meeting love under the pouring rain or in a bookstore, his head buried in a Harry Potter series. I wanted love to dress in his unbuttoned white long sleeves, wearing that playful smile with perfectly-aligned, pearly teeth. His eyes - blue and sparkling, his lips – pink and soft, his fragrance, new and fresh like spring. He ought to be good- looking, tall, smart, conversationalist, adventurous, financially stable, and family-oriented.

With all these self-constructed standards, I remained single for 27 years. I was happy, though. Then, I dated enough to realize that the thrill wears off when a man does not challenge me.

Romantic movies with complicated plot and tragic endings arouse my interest; star-crossed lovers, characters dying at the end, thats my thing. And maybe, that 'challenging' mindset and this 'complicated' interest brought me to where I was months ago. Love ticked off most of the standards Ive set and I thought , he was the one.

I learned that love is blissfully painful. There is pain in being happy and happiness in being hurt.

Love is a verb - it kisses, hugs, dances and inspires. Love does not focus on his past. It accepts and sacrifices.  Love exposes you to an unraveled dimension. Love reinforces you to do it for the sake of love.  But love also lies, accuses, denies, leaves, returns, ghosts, stops, and shatters. Love overlooks the red flags that are right there waving and begging for your attention. Love doubts, disappoints, abandons, manipulates, neglect, scars and empties you.

Love holds on, forgives, accepts again, and tries again. Love tries again but fails. It can fail because of cultural differences, personality combats, family disapproval, religious beliefs, values, and upbringing. No matter how great your love is for one another, it will never be enough to keep the flames alive.

But it does not mean that when love fails, you have failed to love. Love might be the verb but you are still your own subject. You are the DOER.

DO grieve. Do cry. Do self-pity. Do ask what went wrong this time. Do self-blame. You have to admit that you had your share of the plate because the signs had been there all along but your head was full of these rainbow illusions that he would change for you. Burst these fantasy balloons and witness the story from the outside. 



Now you ask yourself, why do you attract people who are toxic and/or emotionally unavailable? Why does this pattern keep on repeating? Simple, we attract who and what we are. The level of value we see in ourselves is the same level that the people we attract tend to have. 



YES, just do and go through the stages of breaking up. But after that, DO help yourself to heal and stand again.  It is not easy to do but it can be done. Let go of things that are not serving you. Breaking up does not mean that you force yourself to forget and unlove him. Moving on is a slow process but when you really do it and accept that you can never be together again, that's beautiful. This is for the both of you. Sanity and health are at stake.

Be happy for him. Be happy for them. Be happy for yourself and for the happier things coming your way. Have the drive to understand yourself more and reach your goals. Use logic that someone worthy exists. And if there are times that you cannot comprehend what is unfolding right now, trust the process. Circumstances are realigning for the higher good. Be happy that you have embraced love. You may look back but do not regret. You have loved and you were loved. You will love and be loved again. And that's all that matters.  

Friday, 12 July 2019

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER BY SIDNEY SHELDON: A BOOK REVIEW




Setting: San Francisco
Characters: Paige Taylor (surgeon) and Jason Curtis (architect)
Secondary Characters: Honey Taft and Kat (both are doctors , too)
Genre: medical thriller
Publication date: 1994
Summary:
This medical thriller tells the story of three female doctors trying to prove themselves in a profession dominated by men. Each of them has their own story, and each of their tales are well connected and intertwined with each other. But suddenly there is chaos, one dies, another is about to get the hospital shut down, and the third faces the death penalty for murder. (credits: WIKIPEDIA)
Reflection
I only knew that this book was published in 1994 when I researched about it right after reading the entire novel.  When you are an avid reader of his works, you’ll know that his style  is weaving  intricate twists and turns. Indeed, Sheldon has proven to the world that he is one of the greatest master storytellers. With this book, eventhough it was a bit old, it didn’t fail to give me the suspense I was dreading. I like that it is a medical thriller and it gives three different views about three women. So, here are some positive notes from the book:
1. It gives light to gender discrimination. Paige, Honey and Kat were treated as if they don’t belong to the medical field. Male doctors referred to them as ladies or judging them as incapable and incompetent. Not only doctors, mind you, but also with their patients. Nevertheless, they proved to be deserving of title and respect.
2. Honey received the highest grades and commendation from her school; however, during the internship, she was incompetent. The grades she got were all obtained by seducing her professors , even the dean. She learned the art of lovemaking because she felt that she was valued when men gained pleasure through her. Her lack of self-confidence escalated because of this and eventually, she got away from being sacked from her school and work through her sexpertise.  
A person cannot be judged without looking at her past. Honey was a wallflower and much more, she came from a family of geniuses and beauties. They made sure that she was the odd one out. Her family only accepted her when she started gaining attention from the school and the males.
3. Kat was a black doctor. She was also discriminated because of her color. At an early age, she was raped by her step-father and when she confessed to her mum, she refused to believe. She didn’t have a choice but to leave her brother behind and live with her aunt. Later on, she found out that she was pregnant. She decided to abort the child and found an inspiration to become a doctor.
In the hospital, she was labeled as the manhater because no matter how the doctors try, they cannot get hold of her until she played a game with Dr. Mallory. Dr. Mallory and the other doctors placed a bet of 10,000 dollars to see  if he could have sex with her. Kat knew about this and she tried to play it cool with him. Like all women who feel like they could changed someone, she believed it. She fell inloved. She lost.  She got pregnant. Mallory killed her.
Overall, it was an unfortunate life for Kat. She was highly intelligent and skilled but she was just unlucky.
4. Paige’s life as a kid revolved around the third world countries. She traveled with her father who was a WHO doctor and Alfred, the son of another doctor. They were sweethearts for so long until Paige was brought back to the city to live and her father was killed in a tribal war. They remained corresponding but when Alfred visited her, she was surprised that he got married. She busied herself with work and then she met, Jason Curtis, a rich and renowned architect.
But the center of the story was Paige’s court case. She was accused of murdering her patient with million dollars involved. She was a victim of circumstance and jealousy of her colleagues. In the end, she was acquitted and married Jason Curtis.

Saturday, 23 June 2018

Blog Entry No. 96


Blog Entry No. 96
June 23, 2018

Dear Diary,
                For the past week, I deactivated my facebook and instagram. It was dreadful to sleep and wake up clueless of what was happening in my social circle. I was used to browsing and reading what was happening to the lives of people I know and people I barely know. But one day, I just realized that I was too attached and too obsessed of how their lives were turning out that I left myself directionless and insecured.
My friends were all graduating from their master’s, getting married and engaged, changing careers, getting promotions, traveling, attending parties, drinking beer, sunbathing, beach frolicking and other fun activities I used to do .I compared myself to them , how I am becoming boring and lifeless, like  a rag doll. I am just starting in a new teaching environment and so far, I am not having the best time of my life. I travel rarely and these travels were costly. I do not attend loud parties nor formal ones. I only drink beer if my friend invites me to. The only things I have are going to a beach that’s more like of a hot tub and sunbathing with my clothes on.
Also, I don’t have many friends here. I have acquaintances in the church and school. My life seems to revolve around those two places only. But going back,  they are just acquaintances. I listen to them but when I try to open myself to them, they only hear. There are just a few who listen but after that, they changed how they treat me. I cannot find my place here. I can’t fit in. Even in school, I am inexistent. They have their own inner circles. Surely, they invite me and everything but when I’m there, I don’t wanna be there at all. I was there but I was not. Maybe, it is me or maybe it is them. I am confused. Did I change or I just have a trouble interacting? Did I become an introvert?
I was really an introvert but that changed when I became a teacher. But when I came here, I’m turning back to my old self. Last night I was researching about it and I learned that there are four types of introvert: social, thinking, anxious and reserved. I’m the latter. It says that I only choose to be with my closest friends. That’s true.
Why the sudden shift of personality? I guess I was , I mean, I am intimidated by all the people I met especially when I didn’t have a job before. They are working in international companies while I was just lying flat on my bed. But even now that I have work, I still feel the same. I tried to fit in SCF. I really did. I went to prayer meetings, fellowships, practices and others but I did not find anyone or anything to make me stay. You might say that God is enough and I need no company to worship. But I really feel alone when I am there. They were all talking to one another and I was there, observing. They don’t like me. They don’t understand me. That’s why I stopped for 2 weeks in a row and ignored all communications coming from them. I know that God is disappointed in me for doing this but it is more  futile to go there with all doubts and fears. I want to go there full. I want to go there when I am ready to face them, to conquer my intimidation. I am so sorry but for now, I want to worship God alone.
So, what is my plan now?
In exchange of my facebook and instagram, I read books. I devour on books and watch videos. Topics are mostly on self-help like how to change habits, how to improve personality, and even sexuality. I finished fiction novel in one day and I’m half-way the second one. I’ve done photography. I ate a lot, went to the beach, and breathed. Now that I think about it, I haven’t done much. Hayst. Crap.
What I plan to do for this week:
1. Try the 30-day habit builder. What habit am I going to build, tho? (physical)
                I have the exercise chart but I stopped working out because we had too many paperworks. I think I have to do it all over again eventhough I have red alert. If I could do it in a week in a consistent manner, that is really something.
2. Talk to 3 strangers.
                This is based on the book of 30 challenges. Might as well try. (social)
3. Go to church. (spiritual)
4. Start reviewing IELTS. (mental)
5. Make a blessing organizer. (emotional)
6. Find summer job. (financial)
7. Read 3 books. (language)
                I’ve read one already this morning on my way to school . How to change a Habit by Scott Young (2007).
Take away: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.- Aristotle
8. Finish your requirements in school. (professional)
9. Master Fur Elise and take a video to be uploaded on youtube. (personal)
10. Write a song (moving on)

That’s all for today.