Tuesday, 31 December 2019

Untangle the Tangles this 2020


This year was all tangled because I started it by filling–in broken (non-refillable) vessels.  It lasted for three more months, but then we decided to  part ways, for real. In the process of moving on, gym became my sanctuary.  I got pretty addicted with working out, and I also started eating healthy. I was getting better, physically and mentally speaking, and I was more focused with the world around me. 

Then, I met someone nice and caring, we dated but turned out, he was my rebound, and to be fair, he had other pressing priorities; I was not on the  list. But it was okay, I was productive at work and even received many certificates of recognition during our year-end program. 

I and my ex met once again. I told myself that maybe, we could start over but after a week, he told me he likes someone else. Afterwards came swirling, engulfing tidal waves of self-loathing and insecurity attacks. Insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks, and headaches became a part of my routine.  Few days later, I almost hit my head on the toilet bowl because of drinking hard. 

It was tough but I managed to crawl towards the light. Gratefully, I was able to continue my workout and through teaching and the kids in school, I was pretty happier, and felt valued. I cut my hair, created a youtube channel, read more books, created goodreads account, wrote more blogs and book reviews, studied and finished my TEFL course, attended Liveloud Concert, visited lots of schools, museums and tourist spots, and most importantly, completed the 9-day simbang gabi with my gym buddies. 

Now, I could say that I am in a better place. I admit I am a handful, bit lunatic (and impulsive) at times, but if I am not this persona, I would not learn at all. I’ve grown a lot for the past 12 months especially when it comes to knowing what I deserve or not. I know how to distinguish the good from the bad, the toxic from the healthy, the permanent from the temporary. I know how to say no and later, who cares and whatever. I know how to say fudge, I messed up but it's not the end of the freaking world. I learned to accept that there are people who must leave in order for you to live. I learned that no matter how broken you are, you are yourself, you made this, you chose this, and you are going to embrace it. At the end of the day, you are the one to decide who you're gonna be. 

2019 was tangled, all right. However, these tangles will only be tangles if you let them trap you forever. I understand, it's a pressure to see others getting engaged, married, giving birth, traveling,  --- these are what we see all over social media, anyways -- but I believe, we all have our unique timelines. Yours is still brewing. And my dear, I can't wait for your turn! I am confident that tomorrow, we will smell the sweet aroma of your success. 



Sunday, 27 October 2019

Yin and Yang at 28


Yin and Yang at 28




My 28th year is basically divided into two chapters.


Chapter I: Insanity

If you have read my previous blogs, you have an idea what I have been through just after my 27th birthday. Until now, I can still remember every single detail of those experiences. Saying that I was lost and wrecked is an understatement. 

Within those six months, I neglected my professional growth and departed from my values. I got into something that was so hard for me to recover from, I entered something which made me hate myself even more. Sleepless nights, constant panic attacks, self-pity, depression, irrational thoughts and  low self-confidence, craziness, wildness and worst of all, emptiness were the by-products of my unwise decisions. My body started to disintegrate, and maybe, at that time, I was standing on a thin thread between sanity and insanity. 


Chapter II: Sanity

I started to accept that I cannot force something to happen. We often hear the inspirational quote, ”Make it Happen!” but at some point, we have to know when to stop. You tried everything but some things won’t just work.



On my 7th month, I ended things and pulled myself up from the dark winding tunnel. I improved my habits and lifestyle by working out and eating more fruits and vegetables. Gradually, I was able to control my thoughts.  I acknowledged God once again and learned to pray the rosary especially in the wee hours of the morning that I was still awake. I finished writing my book, continued blogging book reviews, and started vlogging. 


But of course, the journey was not that easy – there were some unexpected comebacks of some persons, and the pain they brought along with them. It was overwhelming to have history repeat itself right in front of my eyes, but it has also given me more perspective – that I was not yet okay and I don’t need someone who cannot guarantee our future. 


Yes, I am hopeful and forgiving. No matter what someone does to me, I still choose to forgive. I failed others and others have failed me, but that does not mean that I should also fail myself over and over again. I have learned my lessons the hard way. The most beautiful gift that I can give to myself is mental health, peace of mind and innate happiness. Despite all of the anxiety and conflicts, I still believe that the world is full of nice people – my family, friends and blessings are just some of the manifestations. 

When I was a youngster, I made a mental timeline that at the age of 28 , I should be engaged. This morning, many asked about my age and when I am getting married but I just laughed at them because I realized  that I have other priorities now and more pressing issues to do like advancing my studies, changing work and visiting home.  


I don’t know what will happen next especially after my contract expires. Will I stay here in UAE? Will I still be living with my sister? Will I still be an educator?


I am worried and excited for my future. At 28, I can do more and be more than what I am capable of. I just have to work smarter and align my actions to my goals.


 Fear sometimes stops me from doing things that I want but if I let these fears drive me again, I can never achieve my full potential. I must not be afraid of confronting someone, I must communicate what I feel so that he/she knows that I am hurt, disappointed or anything. This was my weakness before, I tolerated their bad behavior and this should never happen again for without a doubt, it is better to lose them than to lose my sanity.


Furthermore,  I must not be fearful of others’ opinions and just be, me. I should not be afraid to be criticized and mentored, and to try and try again. Just like my favorite poem of Emily Dickinson, Success is counted sweetest by those who ne’er succeed, I will taste the sweetest victory after a series of downfalls.   


I must be bold enough to open my eyes when I run down the steep rocky hill. When someone knocks, I must be ready to say goodbye even when it is just blossoming. 


Two chapters of my life — each chapter ran for six months. It was like yin and yang.  It describes  how seemingly opposite forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they gave rise to each other. It was a balancing act. It all happened with a purpose. It made me what I am. 


What a day to be alive! I am  yin and yang!


Friday, 6 September 2019

The Zahir by Paolo Coelho

Genre: love, spiritual
Date Published: 2005
Themes: love, loss and obsession

Summary
According to Coelho, “Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness.” The book is a pilgrimage of love and loss—a journey which yields self-discovery and spiritual growth.( http://www.supersummary.com/the-zahir-a-novel-of-obsession/summary/)

The narrator is a renowned spiritual author who is seeking for Esther,  his wife, a war correspondent. Through the narration, we could imagine how free they were in their relationship. Both can travel anytime and anywhere, and do his and her own things including sleeping with others. It was modern and too free but they preferred it this way and neither of them asked about each others extra marital affairs. When Esther left him, he became obsessed about it. Later on, he was able to write a love story titled A Time to Sow and A Time to Reap which is about his journey in love with Esther. It was actually a novel dedicated to Esther. 

He met Mikhail, a young epileptic guy from Kazakhstan whom he believed was Esthers boyfriend. Mikhails life purpose is to tell the world about love and Esther was the one who gave him this chance when she helped him move to Paris. Mikhail believes that he has visions and he hears the voice. HE performs in a bar together with his team wherein they tell a story, ask audience to share their own stories then sumps up with a dance. 

With his wife’s absence, he began an affair with Maria, a beautiful and intellectual actress. As the narrator departs to find Esther the next morning, he gets into an accident, which he takes as an affirmation of Mikhail’s warning. Later on, he thought that he was ready to look for Esther. HE went with Mikhail to Kazakhstan, Eventually, he soon discovered that Esther was teaching French and weaving carpets. The two met. Esther revealed that she is pregnant with Dos’ baby – Dos is the grandson of her mentor who also lives in Kazakhstan. The narrator wanted her to stay there to be safe but Esther wanted to get another horse as she was pumped up for a new correspondent.

Reflection:
Coelho ‘s words are always profound. You cannot just read it quickly because the messages are to be digested overtime. I liked all his works especially Veronika Decides to Die. Coelho’s reflections are truly something else and will make you also see the world in a different perspective. 

What I like about this book are the complexities of the two characters. Both are passionate about their works except with their commitment with each other. Esther was into finding what love and happiness is, going to wars to look for the answers while the narrator was into writing novels. 

The conversations of the characters were also tightbound. Setting was new and fitting- the contrast between Paris and Kazakhstan. IT also shows the beggars’ condition but in here they believed they were not poor. Actually, this book is really about changing perspective.
In general, this book does not match up with his  other novels. It gives lessons but it is quite boring.

Friday, 23 August 2019

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
An Analysis





Dr. Seuss is known as a Children’s Book Author but this book speaks to all people. It represents everyone of us who dreams, stops dreaming, fails, dreams again, and wins. HE said that you are the one who will decide where to go --whatever we will become is based on our decisions today. We have the brains and we have the feet to propel us to move depending on our decisions. When we are in school, it seems that the world is easy and small but when we graduate, we realize how wide and big it is. Our dreams may start to sound impossible and we are thrown off-track, there are those who are better and luckier than us. Others might be soaring now while you are still there, figuring out what to do in life. With the advent of social media, we feel pressured and unsuccessful especially if we compare our status to those who are living their dreams. Our dreams might not materialize because we can experience hang-ups and bang-ups. What are these?

According to Merriam-Webster, hang-up is something that causes you to feel worried, afraid and embarrassesd, while bang-up is something that causes damage. Dreams are not easy to reach. For example, I dreamed to be a doctor but because of financial difficulty and time, that dream is unlikely to happen now. So, I changed my dream which is to be a teacher at the same time, traveler. Our childhood dreams might not come true because we have other obligations but along the journey, we shape other dreams because we are also changing as a person.

There are times when we cannot go on; hence, the waiting game. We are stuck in a plateau of helplessness -waiting for  the big break without lifting  a finger, waiting for a miracle, waiting for someone to lift us up. But Dr. Seuss is telling us that we are better than that. We have to escape this waiting area, we have to jump over this barricade because there are still games to be won. In short, do not give up on life!

There are also times when we are all alone and it will get lonely. Our darkest enemy will be ourselves. But it says here, go on and hike far. Climb the mountain. Step carefully and thoughtfully. He is telling us that when we are determined to move mountains then we should also mix it with the right values. Dreaming is useless if our values and principles are compromised. I like it when he said that Life’s a great balancing act. WE balance our time, priorities, people, money, among others. On a final note, keep in mind that you are great and you are off to your next adventure!






Wednesday, 21 August 2019

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP by SJ Watson

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP by SJ Watson
Genre: psychological Thriller
Setting: London
Publication Date: 2011
Summary:
Christine Lucas wakes every morning thinking she is a carefree, twenty-something woman with a bright future ahead of her. In reality, Christine is a forty-seven year old woman who suffered a terrible attack eighteen years ago that has left her unable to retain memories. However, with the help of a doctor who specializes in memory disorders, Christine begins to keep a journal that helps her piece together her past and how she ended up as she has. (bookrags.com)
Point of View
The novel is written in the first person point of view. The first part of the story is in the present, the second part is about what she has written on her journal and third is the continuation of the first.  
Themes
Brain Damage due to Trauma
Years of her memory have been erased due to an 'accident' that happened a number of years ago, causing her to forget everything each time she falls asleep. Later on, it was revealed that this was no accident. She had been attacked by a man whom she had an affair with when she was married with Ben. This man named Mike continued to pretend that he was Ben.
Marriage and Love
Christine slept with another man. Cheating is always a choice. She might had the pressure of being a mother and a wife, and of having writer’s block after the success of her first novel  but these reasons are not valid for her to cheat. I would like to think that what happened to her was Karma. And she’s gonna live like that forever. Her husband, Ben, loves her despite everything. How can people be ignorant of the people who love them the most?
Obsession
Mike was obsessed with Christine. This obsession eventually led to attempted murder, twice.

Reflection:
This is the first book of SJ Watson that I read. I would have liked the plot if only I haven’t watched the Netflix original Secret Obsession.  For me, a thriller is very effective if you could not predict the twist and the ending. I envisioned its ending and it came true.

What I like about this story though was the loss of memory after waking up. Imagine the pain and emptiness of waking up everyday not knowing your identity. It sucks. But in reality, many people suffer from that. Some retain the memory for less than 1 minute. Imagine the effect of this to the people you love. It’s as good as being dead. 

Character Development was hanging by a thread. This is normal since the main character is suffering from amnesia. It was effective but it lacks something else.
Setting was not that that accurate. 

The best part for me was the revelation. Because the previous parts were very similar to her own life. Waking up, reliving, sleeping, forgetting, and again. So, the revelation kinda saved the story, only if you were not able to predict it.


Wednesday, 14 August 2019

WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU DIE by Robin Sharma: A Book Review

WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU DIE by Robin Sharma: A Book Review



Genre: Self-help/motivational/non-fiction
Publication Date: 1999
Publishing Company: Harper Collins



Background: This was the third book written by the author in the series The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.



Who is Robin Sharma?
Canadian, A former lawyer, he quit his job and now considered to be one of the top 5 leadership experts in the world. His work is embraced by rock stars, royalty, billionaires and many celebrity CEOs.



Robin's books on Leadership and peak performance at work have sold over 15,000,000 copies in 75+ Countries.



His  book ,”The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”  is the 5th best selling book in the history of Israel. It has been on India's Top 10 bestseller list of over 2 years. Robin's books have been the fastest selling books in Turkish publishing history. His books have also been blockbusters in Japan, England, Dubai, Mexico, Singapore, Puerto Rico and throughout South America, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Serbia, Romania, Russia and Sweden.



Robin's runaway bestseller “The Leader Who Had No Title” was the #1 Business book on amazon.com



Review:
The book is basically divided into 101 short chapters. The language used was simple and clear. Each chapter discusses tip on how to live life to the fullest. For every chapter, Robin injects quotes from some of his favorite authors and inspirational speakers/people like Bruce Lee, Og Mandino, James Allen and Napoleon Hill. He then gives his personal views and experiences.  Through this book, I’ve met great people in his journey and by his recommendations, I’ve downloaded some of their books.       



This book revealed how dedicated, bookish and passionate Robin is into helping and inspiring people. However, I’ve read many self-help books to confirm that this book only added a few pointers to what I learned from others. 



Here’s what I highlighted:



1.      Three Gate Test. The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about to utter passed three gates. At the first gate, they would ask themselves, Are these words truthful? If so, the words could then pass on to the second gate. At the second gate, they sages asked, “Are these words necessary?” If so, they would then pass on to the third gate, where they would ask, Are these words kind?



2.      The real value of setting and achieving goals lies not in the rewards you receive but in the person you become as a result of achieving your goals. 



3.      Knowledge is not power.  Knowledge is only potential power. It transforms itself into actual power the moment you decisively act on it. 



4.      It helps to write down half a dozen things which are worrying me. Two of them, they disappear, about two, nothing can be done, so it is no use worrying and tow perhaps can be settled. – Bruce Lee



5.      There has never been a more exciting time to be alive in history of the world and you have the choice to seize the boundless possibilities that every day presents.



6.      Think thoughts no one else is thinking. You cannot have all that you want if you remain the person you are. To get more from life, you need to be more in life.



I think this book needed more stories or testimonies from other people. And the title is perhaps not suited for the contents.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    




Friday, 9 August 2019

Turtles all the way down by John Green: A Book Review

Turtles all the way down by John Green: A Book Review
Genre: Young Adult, psychological
Publication Date: 2017
Setting: Indianapolis
Characters: Aza Holmes, Daisy, Davis, Mychal, Aza’s Mom, Dr. Singh (psychiatrist)

Summary:
This is  a story about Aza and her spiraling thoughts coupled with her OCD. She has high anxiety especially with germs to the point that kissing made her swallow sanitizer. She always thinks that she’ll be infected with the bacteria Clostridium difficile. She has the habit of pressing her right thumbnail into the finger pad of her middle finger. She covers it up with band-aid but when she is worried, she drains it by reopening the wound and pressing out any blood that will come. 

Her best friend’s name is Daisy, a star wars fanatic and a fan fiction author. She is a working student, her family is not well-off, and later on, convinced Aza to find David Pickett, Sr. the billionaire fugitive for there’s a reward of 100,000 dollars waiting. 

Aza and Davis Jr had a past; they joined the Sad Camp together when they lost one of their parents. Aza knew about the night vision camera since she used to play in Davis’ house when they were young. Aza and Daisy had one information to tell the police but Davis gave them 100,000 dollars in exchange of their silence. 

Aza and Davis fell for one another, Mychal and Daisy , too. Aza and Daisy got into an accident because of an argument about Daisy referencing Aza in her fictional stories, that Aza was  a useless and pessimistic friend. Aza recovered, their friendship became stronger but their romantic relationships had a different ending.

Themes
Anxiety
Aza’s thoughts cannot be shut down. Through her character, we come to know how the mind of anxious people operates. It is something that cannot be controlled by themselves; it just spirals and spirals until it tightens and suffocates them. They think a lot, worry a lot and not care too much of their environment. It is like they are physically present but their mind is projected onto something else like in Aza’s case, the microbes swarming inside her. She doesn’t know where Daisy’s parents work in spite of their longtime friendship. This also means that anxiety makes a person be socially unaware because ot the pressure of their thoughts. Aza also relies on her late Dad’s old phone for emotional support. Aza has a psychiatrist named Dr. Singh but she does not take her medications . She feels like the medicine is making her worse.

Like all the characters of John Green, Aza exemplifies a young and smart woman. It’s just that she has a mental problem. However, this issue has made her more analytic and unique, in my own opinion.  The introspection and conversations between Aza and the other characters proved how intelligent and reflective she is.

Parent-child
Davis’ father ran away. Davis and his younger brother, Noah had always sought for a responsible father which they could never find from their own. Their riches were infinite but when it comes to the love and affection from their dad, it is nonexistent.
Their father neglected them and left all his riches to a tuatara, a reptile. Also, he never contacted his sons when he eloped.
Aza and her mom had a great relationship. Daisy and her parents, too. It only means that the treasure lies not on the wealth but the bond in a family.

Reflection
John Green’s most famous novel The Fault in Our Stars for me is overrated.  Both the book and movie did not distress or please me. I really think it was too soapy and mainstream. Secondly, I watched and read Paper Towns and I found it so much better. Turtles all the way down is not that I-will-not-sleep-until –I-finished-this book. That is both a compliment and a slur. 

Compliment. First, some of the conversations need to be digested; hence, the need to stop and rest. In order to fully immerse yourself into the story, you must not finish this book in one seating. You have to take your time because of its psychological essence. Reading the thoughts of Aza also makes you feel trapped in your own thoughts and may question your own mental health. For example, the characterization of Aza could make you feel like you are also suffering from anxiety disorder. Overthinking, high heart rate, feeling nervous or powerless, having sense of impending danger, panic attacks, feeling stuck and empty, and sleeplessness are some of the signs of anxiety. 

You can also associate yourself because of her line of thinking. Example, in the first chapter of the book. She said, Life is a story told about you, not one that you tell. You pretend to be the author but in reality, you are the canvas, not the painter. She felt that herself was not hers. IF you think about this, it is very debatable, philosophically speaking. The ‘free will’ is questionable.  Are we really creating our destiny or has it been planned by God or the cosmos? 

There are many thoughts of Aza that could be analyzed in detail. The short poems of Davis are also worthy of studying. He introduced his writing through a quote or a poem by a famous writer and then he associates it with his personal experience. All of these are profound and  deep. 

Slur. There was lack of suspense. Yes, the major conflict is internal but I just didn’t find any vibe with its turn of events. IF not for Aza and Davis, the whole story would have been plain and boring.

Friday, 2 August 2019

This is the last time I am going to write about love.








This is the last time I am going to write about love.


Love always fascinated me at a young age. I would always visualize myself meeting love under the pouring rain or in a bookstore, his head buried in a Harry Potter series. I wanted love to dress in his unbuttoned white long sleeves, wearing that playful smile with perfectly-aligned, pearly teeth. His eyes - blue and sparkling, his lips – pink and soft, his fragrance, new and fresh like spring. He ought to be good- looking, tall, smart, conversationalist, adventurous, financially stable, and family-oriented.

With all these self-constructed standards, I remained single for 27 years. I was happy, though. Then, I dated enough to realize that the thrill wears off when a man does not challenge me.

Romantic movies with complicated plot and tragic endings arouse my interest; star-crossed lovers, characters dying at the end, thats my thing. And maybe, that 'challenging' mindset and this 'complicated' interest brought me to where I was months ago. Love ticked off most of the standards Ive set and I thought , he was the one.

I learned that love is blissfully painful. There is pain in being happy and happiness in being hurt.

Love is a verb - it kisses, hugs, dances and inspires. Love does not focus on his past. It accepts and sacrifices.  Love exposes you to an unraveled dimension. Love reinforces you to do it for the sake of love.  But love also lies, accuses, denies, leaves, returns, ghosts, stops, and shatters. Love overlooks the red flags that are right there waving and begging for your attention. Love doubts, disappoints, abandons, manipulates, neglect, scars and empties you.

Love holds on, forgives, accepts again, and tries again. Love tries again but fails. It can fail because of cultural differences, personality combats, family disapproval, religious beliefs, values, and upbringing. No matter how great your love is for one another, it will never be enough to keep the flames alive.

But it does not mean that when love fails, you have failed to love. Love might be the verb but you are still your own subject. You are the DOER.

DO grieve. Do cry. Do self-pity. Do ask what went wrong this time. Do self-blame. You have to admit that you had your share of the plate because the signs had been there all along but your head was full of these rainbow illusions that he would change for you. Burst these fantasy balloons and witness the story from the outside. 



Now you ask yourself, why do you attract people who are toxic and/or emotionally unavailable? Why does this pattern keep on repeating? Simple, we attract who and what we are. The level of value we see in ourselves is the same level that the people we attract tend to have. 



YES, just do and go through the stages of breaking up. But after that, DO help yourself to heal and stand again.  It is not easy to do but it can be done. Let go of things that are not serving you. Breaking up does not mean that you force yourself to forget and unlove him. Moving on is a slow process but when you really do it and accept that you can never be together again, that's beautiful. This is for the both of you. Sanity and health are at stake.

Be happy for him. Be happy for them. Be happy for yourself and for the happier things coming your way. Have the drive to understand yourself more and reach your goals. Use logic that someone worthy exists. And if there are times that you cannot comprehend what is unfolding right now, trust the process. Circumstances are realigning for the higher good. Be happy that you have embraced love. You may look back but do not regret. You have loved and you were loved. You will love and be loved again. And that's all that matters.  

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

The Kite Runner by Khaleid Hosseini: A Book Review

The Kite Runner by Khaleid Hosseini: A Book Review
Setting: Afghanistan, America, Pakistan
Characters: Amir, Baba , Hassan, Ali, Rahim Khan
Setting:  - 1980’s –
Genre: Family, Historical
Publication date: 2003


Summary:
It tells the story of Amir, a young boy from the Wazir Akbar Khan district of Kabul, whose closest friend is Hassan. The story is set against a backdrop of tumultuous events, from the fall of Afghanistan's monarchy through the Soviet military intervention, the exodus of refugees to Pakistan and the United States, and the rise of the Taliban regime.
Hosseini has commented that he considers The Kite Runner to be a father–son story, emphasizing the familial aspects of the narrative, an element that he continued to use in his later works.[2] Themes of guilt and redemption feature prominently in the novel,[3] with a pivotal scene depicting an act of sexual assault that happens against Hassan that Amir fails to prevent. The latter half of the book centers on Amir's attempts to atone for this transgression by rescuing Hassan's son two decades later. (Wikipedia)

Themes:

Father-son
Amir and his Baba
Amir had always craved for his Baba’s( father) attention and love.  He felt like his Baba was not proud of him because he was not good in soccer nor he could not stand up for himself. Amir was also jealous of Hassan ( his friend) because whatever toy his father gives him, he would also give one to him and his father would always invite Hassan when they wanted to go out. Amir wanted his father for himself.
In the long run, during their travel to Pakistan and life in America, Amir and his father became closer.  His father worked hard to provide him food and education. Note that Baba was popular, influential and well-off in Afghanistan but all these, they left so they can start anew in America , away from the war.
Baba’s last fatherly duty before he died of cancer was asking permission from the General to let Amir marry his daughter. People spoke of his greatness when he died especially how he helped those in need.

Baba and Hassan
Hassan and Ali are Hazaras. They belong to the lower class and considered as servants. 
Hassan never knew that his master was his real father. All he thought was that his father was Ali, another Hazara and that his mother left when she saw that he had cleft pallet, Hassan was the good child.  Ali was the good father.
Baba’s sin was Hassan.  

Brotherhood  and Friendship
Amir and Hassan were childhood friends; however, Amir never admitted that Hassan was his friend. They nursed from the same woman , they climbed trees together and flew kites. Because of jealousy and guilt, Amir hid his watch and some cash under Hassan’s bed. Hassan and Ali decided to move out despite Baba’s pleading for them to stay.
It is important to note that Amir did not save nor defend Hassan when he was being raped by Assef. He saw this but turned a blind eye and he carried this for a long time until Rahim Khan called him and said that it is not too late to be good again.

Amir wept and was devastated when Rahim Khan confessed that Hassan was his brother. It was too late since Hassan was shot by the Talibans. His wife was shot as  well leaving their only child, Sohrab in an orphanage.

Amir’s redemption was getting Sohrab out of Assef’ claws (he became a Taliban and kept Sohrab to satisfy his demonic urges). He was almost killed in the process but at the end, he was able to get him out of Afghanistan and adopted him.  The story ended with Amir flying kites with Sohrab in America.

Overall impression of the book
Khaleid is very skilled in describing scenes. HE speaks vividly as if you are being transported to Kabul, Pakistan and America. The way he characterizes are also haunting. 

The themes of his first book may not be as heavy as the second novel but it gives light to how our past affects our present. It lets us reflect that when you live carrying secrets and guilt,  these would haunt you for the rest of your life. 

Amir did not have the chance to ask forgiveness from Hassan but with his struggle to save Sohrab, he knew that he had somehow made peace with him , most especially his ownself. 

Favorite quotes:
11.       “When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.” -  Baba

22.    “She said, 'I'm so afraid.' And I said, 'why?,' and she said, 'Because I'm so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul. Happiness like this is frightening.' I asked her why and she said, 'They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you.” – Amir’s mother

33.    “It's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out.”

44.    “That same night, I wrote my first short story. It took me thirty minutes. It was a dark little tale about a man who found a magic cup and learned that if he wept into the cup, his tears turned into pearls. But even though he had always been poor, he was a happy man and rarely shed a tear. So he found ways to make himself sad so that his tears could make him rich. As the pearls piled up, so did his greed grow. The story ended with the man sitting on a mountain of pearls, knife in hand, weeping helplessly into the cup with his beloved wife's slain body in his arms.” – Amir

5. “Better to get hurt by the truth than

6. “One time, when I was very little, I climbed a tree and ate these green, sour apples. My stomach swelled and became hard like a drum, it hurt a lot. Mother said that if I'd just waited for the apples to ripen, I wouldn't have become sick. So now, whenever I really want something, I try to remember what she said about the apples.”  -Sohrab

77.  “The problem, of course, was that [he] saw the world in black and white. And he got to decide what was black and what was white. You can't love a person who lives that way without fearing him too. Maybe even hating him a little.”